May 2013
19 posts
nothing more that i desire: fuckyeahcracker:... →
fuckyeahcracker:
fuckyeahcracker:
Effects Of Thinking White People Are “All Like That”:
Literally nothing other than white people having their feelings hurt on the internet
I’m not joking there is no real world consequence of this
Effects Of Thinking People of Color Are “All…
graceebooks:
men at large think they are being robbed of something when an attractive woman with a 90% chance of developing breast cancer gets a double mastectomy
what better illustration of the male sense of sexual entitlement do you need
“We’d read each other like books we were endlessly fascinated by.”
– From Frances and Bernard by Carlene Bauer
I’ve been trying to find things I need to say recently but it’s getting harder and harder to express myself without the fear of judgement. This is just going to be a post about random things just to get my mind going I guess.
I found an apartment in Silverlake that I’m going to go see next week. It’s a tad more expensive than I would’ve liked but it’s nice...
I wanted to write a long post about my mother but I don’t know how much more I can complain.
It pains me to even look at her these days.
“It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this...”
– Hugh Laurie
“I hope to be at least a month with my friends, and to gain peace and balance,...”
– Oscar Wilde De Profundis
You’re laying on your bed. Still in your work clothes. Staring at me with those eyes I avoid looking directly into. Your leg is thrown over mine lazily, my arm resting over it, a beer in my other hand. Your hand falls onto my leg and rubs it backward and forward in a comfortable way.
I’m rambling on because I can feel the intense stare you’re giving me. I keep looking at you...
“How far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps?”
– Warsan Shire
Usually I come on here to talk about the guy I’m sort of seeing but not really seeing.
Next month I’ll be moving into a new apartment and starting summer school so I can finally get this nonsense out of the way. When I think about everything I haven’t even gotten through yet I have to ask myself if I’m really prepared to be in a relationship. I love waking up to someone...
I’ve been feeling very disheartened lately about my future. I think it’s great that I have a passion to want to help people with the same ailment as me…but realistically…can I even do it? It’s great to say “hey i really wanna do this with my life” but how many people actually achieve what they want to do? Sometimes I think I would be better off doing...
Nothing like morning sex and a meal to really enjoy your day.
April 2013
22 posts
I called you last night in hopes that you would brighten my mood. It’s nice that I’m able to tell you’d like to see me as well. I keep fighting this battle with myself about how I need to stay away from you, but somehow you drag me back into your clutches. Sometimes I wonder if I should just let this happen. A friend told me to just jump in and not let anything from my past...
2 tags
It’s interesting because some days I’ll be dead tired and not know why. I look at other people and wonder how they get through their days so normally as if they have this energy that I just don’t have. They leave at the end of the day perfectly normal. Maybe a little tired from the long day, but that’s it. I walk away feeling like I’m dying. My entire body hurts and I...
2 tags
1 Year Later.
As May looms above us I’m reminded of where I was this time last year. Emotional state aside, a mysterious illness sprang up after a bout of pneumonia and only seemed to be getting worse. At one point, I was so weak I could only manage to roll over long enough to take a sip of water. FInally, I gave in and asked my mom to take me to the hospital. It took weeks and countless procedures for...
I gave up on him. I don’t really know what to say about it other than it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. I need to focus on other things. I don’t know what I was thinking allowing myself to like someone in such a way again. Daydreaming about them and spending too much time thinking about them. It’s kind of comical when I think about it. So many of my thoughts dedicated to...
Yesterday I got two fortune cookies.
One said “soon the world will be ready to receive your talents.”
The other “you will achieve the highest intelligence in your life.”
It was nice if you believe in things like fortune cookies.
Isn’t it crazy how much brighter the sun can be after you get laid?
I try to keep my religious beliefs to myself. Mostly because I can’t think of a time where discussing religion is ever necessary, and it usually changes my judgement about someone. People become saints when they declare they are a god fearing Christian.
As someone that grew up in a Christian family, I’m constantly told to “pray it out” or “thank god” when...
It’s always weird to be when people mention having to approach a situation like an adult. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent most of my life being an adult. The only times I recall acting like a child were petty times in relationships or small bout of selfishness when I’m fed up.
When it comes to having to make important decisions like whether to buy those $300 shoes or...
It’s weird to actually want to…idk. Be with someone again. I’ve been wasting my time with meaningless sex with these meaningless niggas and I would convince myself I feel a certain way because I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere. But this time….idk. Someone ever dick you down and remind you what sex is supposed to be? Cause some guys will fuck you. Very few will dick you down.
I feel...
My mom went to Vegas.
Told me she was leaving 2 minutes before she left.
Then asked if I would watch my little brother.
Ok
1 tag
Shopping for a new phone is kind of retarded. Everyone only tells you their phone is the best, a lot of reviews are so wishy-washy, you have to sign a 2 year contract to get a decent price, and everyone only wants to ask you why you’re giving up your almighty iPhone.
Idk why I’m even considering buying a new phone. I think it has a lot to do with my unwillingness to deal with apple...
I find 2 Chainz to be very motivating when I’m running.
Bad bitch contest u n 1st place
6 Insane Cartoon Theories About Kids Shows →
This was actually funny.
I’ve heard the Ed, Edd, and Eddy one which is sad and creepy and why i cant watch it ever. The Mario one really tickled me. I didn’t care much for The Tick one.
I feel like there was a small span of time where I was feeling happy and positive. Recently it kind of feels like that all went to shit.
I wish I had something funny, or positive, or happy to say. I wish I met someone interesting or fell in love or got a boyfriend or went to dinner with my best friend or got drunk and fought someone or read the best book ever or idk…something.
I...
I’m at my wit’s end about…everything.
My mom came at me yesterday in a way that I’ve only seen bitches come at other bitches on the street and I decided I was done with her. After I had coffee with my friend I decided it’s time to start completely ignoring her because it’s apparently the only way we can get along. She’s honestly pretty dead to me at...
3 tags
I’ve been feeling really congested and weak the last few days. I don’t know what it’s from. It can’t be from lack of sleep because for the first time in a long time I’m actually sleeping. My doctor said I might have a “regular virus” like a cold or something. It’s funny that I forgot I’m not immune to regular things like colds now. The only...
“People empty me. I have to get away to refill.”
– Charles Bukowski
I’m really in my feelings tonight. Maybe because its hot and I feel like shit. I’m feeling rather useless.
I hate that I’m 23 years old and don’t have shit to show for it. I work some shitty job around shitty ppl doing shitty work acting like a damn slave surrounded by people that solely care about how they look.
I’m consider what I’d like to do and how...
Accept that nothing is the same and it will never be the same again.
March 2013
77 posts
Whenever I’m in the doctor’s office I’m reminded that there’s something wrong with me. Not that I ever forget but sometimes I’m able to push it to the back of my mind. Only on days where I’m in a lot of pain does it come rushing to the forefront.
Wednesdays are for rheumatology in the outpatient clinic. So I see a lot of lupus patients sitting with me on that...
Whenever I’m in the doctor’s office I’m reminded that there’s something wrong with me. Not that I ever forget but sometimes I’m able to push it to the back of my mind. Only on days where I’m in a lot of pain does it come rushing to the forefront.
Wednesdays are for rheumatology in the outpatient clinic. So I see a lot of lupus patients sitting with me on that...
They’ve extended my rheumy appointments to every 6-8 weeks!
Yayyyyyyyyyy!!!!
My doctor asked me what I’m going to school for today. I told her I was thinking of becoming a rheumatologist and she seemed excited. It really brought a smile to my face. She told me when I start needing letters she would gladly write me one and she said she was sure all the other doctors I’ve seen would be happy to as well.
Now that I have a job who’s hours I can kind of...
My phone is cut off which is something I can say I haven’t experienced in years.
To be honest I’m contemplating not even turning it back on because I think I might enjoy the cut off from the world for a little while, but I can’t have that kind of deal with my credit or anything so maybe ill just change my number.
Maybe I’ll just wait a week to turn it back on. That...
I’m not as good at speaking as I am at writing. I don’t consider myself to be a great writer so imagining how I sound when speaking is painful.
When it comes to meaningful conversations I tend to resort to texts as opposed to in person. I guess it has a lot to do with not wanting other ppl to know when I’m vulnerable. If I’m in your face talking about my feelings...
Nvm
Nvm
Nvm
Nvm
Just made a fool of myself again.
Love is weird. You go from being completely infatuated and feeling like you can’t live without them to feeling something similar to indifference. I used to feel sad when I thought of her now I just feel kind of whatever. It’s chill that she moved on. Idk, I feel whatever about it really. Lol. We weren’t really compatible in the slightest. But I remember the incredible about of...
